The Difference Between Marriage and Sealing

by Robert A. Rosskopf

A quick explanation of civil and religious laws governing marriage as practiced in the United States in the 19th century by members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints.

A sealing is a record of familial relationships, recognized by heaven. It can represent the relationship of marriage, or children to parents. It can represent marriage in this life, but often only represents marriage in the next. Marriages under state authority, or the authority of any other church, are "until death do you part", and are only a record of mortal marriage. Mortal marriage has very few restrictions. Celestial marriage has the added restriction of worthiness; the couple must be faithful and keeping the commandments of God, and have a track record of doing so. Also, a women can only be sealed to one man. In the case of vicarious sealing, there is the additional restriction of adoption. The spirit receiving the ordinance must accept it, or it will have no validity in the next life.

Standard marriage in the US has always been the domain of a church, but it is possible to have a marriage recorded for civil purposes only. It was very typical for people to forgo the civil registration, not pay the fee, and just announce their union in the newspaper. The original marriage laws were put in place to restrict interracial marriage. But most of them didn't address divorce. A man could leave his wife, which is called abandonment, but that wouldn't nullify the state record of marriage, or change the law in regards to the husbands rights over the wife's property, and it didn't negate inheritance laws. Gradually, states enacted new laws that allowed legal marriage to be undone without suing the court. Most of these laws were not put into effect until well after the Nauvoo period. The Saints or Mormons, as they are more often called, created their own laws regarding marriage that addressed these issues to some degree. The primary focus was to protect women and children. A man with sufficient means, might be asked to marry a widow, for the purpose of financially supporting her and her children, regardless of whether he was already married. Men were called upon to do acts of charity. These acts of charity were also done on behalf of unmarried women who were not widows. But in the case where the women was already being provided for, by a living husband, there was no need for polygamy. There was only a need for a sealing, so that there would be a record of the marriage in heaven, so that marriage could exist beyond the grave. A women did not need to be sealed specifically to her living husband, and that caused some confusion. If a living husband was not worthy, or declined the opportunity, she was free to be sealed to someone else. Enemies to the church have focused on that freedom and imagined all sorts of heinous sexual activities or illicit acts, but nothing could be farther from the truth.